Of course we love our kids – theyre part of us. They can be funny, cheeky, sweet, loving, polite, giving, peaceful and cuddly, but equally they can be difficult, stubborn, hateful, rude, dishonest, selfish, noisy and demanding. Deep down we know they dont mean it. Theyre just being kids, but even though we know this, what with all the other responsibilities we have as parents, it can be difficult understanding, accepting, and dealing with them.
There will always be times when they push the boundaries too far, and this really is how kids exercise their free will, and also how they learn right from wrong, and how they test those boundaries. Your job is to show them those boundaries stick, and theres little room for breaking them, but there are times when whatever we say or do is fruitless. At these difficult times it may be useful to remember the following:-
1. Think back to when you were a child, or teenager. What did you get up to? How did you behave or treat others? Often we see ourselves in our children. Something they say or do reminds us about how we were, and remembering this can help us to understand or deal with them.
2. If youre suffering a relationship breakdown or experiencing difficult behaviour from your children, its always helpful to share this with other parents. It will soon become apparent that you are not alone, and that nine times out of ten, your situation is nothing to worry about.
3. If you use the internet, then join parenting forums, eg. Yahoo Groups – many people like you share their similar experiences on forums, and often have answers to the problem which they have found work.
Enviroblog: 'If you love your child, move'::
'If you love your child, move'. postcard_final.jpg Where's the worst air in America? Los Angeles, with its freeways gridlocked with smog-spewing cars?
http://www.enviroblog.org/2007/08/if-you-love-your-child-move.htmHOME |
4. Avoid relationship breakdown with your kids by dealing with issues in a proactive way, rather than a reactive way. For example, if you have a teenager who is exercising their need for independence, and you are not comfortable with it, then find a mutual compromise rather than going all-out for a ban or strong demand.
5. Similarly, with a younger child, be firm and set boundaries without the need to shout or be controlling. Keep anger out of your communication. Many children do not even hear what you say if you are shouting – they are more likely to want to shut you out.
DeCSS, how do I love thee? [dive into mark]::
I’m sure they’ll find some other way to co-erce your child into spending your HTPC with the primary aim of ripping all the kids DVDs onto it purely to
http://diveintomark.org/archives/2006/10/23/finding-drmHOME |
6. Take time out. Accept any offer of help from aunty, gran, or friends. You need a break. Often, its at the time were away from our kids we can sit back, talk and laugh about our day with them, having the opportunity of being away from the situation to see it in a new perspective. This is much more empowering.
7. With teenagers, remember that you are not the only significant person in their lives. Much that its hard to understand their behaviour, remember that they are driven by the need to fit in and belong with their peers and theyll do all manner of illogical things to do so – this is all-important to them.
Its not possible to be a perfect parent, and frequently its hard to do the above, and thats OK. But its good to remember these points, stick to them as much as you can, and youll stand out from the crowd as a parent. Your kids will respect you too.
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How to Love your Kids