Copyright (c) 2007 Fabienne Fredrickson
QUOTE: Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine... And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Marianne Williamson
During a Mastermind session last week, I got clear on the ONE obstacle standing between me and doubling my business next year. Contrary to what I originally thought, its not a lack of knowledge, of what to do next or a marketing challenge. I actually know exactly what to do to double my business. For me, its a question of leveraging my time, my marketing and my resources so that I can help many, many more solo-preneurs get more clients, create systems for marketing, clean up their mindset and give them the tools and the permission to succeed. Thats my purpose and its fun for me.
Whats actually been holding me back is something much more internal. Its the deeply ingrained fear that the bigger I get, meaning the bigger my business gets, the more I will make myself a target for criticism and pot shots. Heres why:
For years, Ive witnessed women entrepreneurs truly succeed and watched as others began to pick them apart, to criticize them and sometimes trash them, even when they didnt know them. Have you noticed that too? Ironically enough, its usually other women doing the criticizing (instead of the supporting), and Im sad to say, Ive partaken in that sometimes too, even when I didnt know the person. I regret it, especially as Im poised to be in the very same position sometime soon.
Somehow, it seems that the bigger in business you get, the more people feel entitled to take you down. My friend Valerie Hayes (PageantInterviewCoach.com) coaches her pageant contestant clients that as they become more of a celebrity, they must recognize that theyre now a target for gossip and to just deal with it. As she says, its just a part of human conditioning and that you cant do anything about it. It almost means youve arrived, a signal of success.
What she also shared with me is that if people are criticizing you, its almost never about you, but about them. When you put yourself out there in a BIG way, realize there WILL be a backlash. I believe it threatens or intimidates people when you have the courage to stand out a little bit more. Its that Tall Poppy syndrome that Australians talk about, meaning, tall poppies need to be cut down when they grow higher than other flowers in the field. Funny enough, poppies are one of my very favorite flowers and I have paintings of them in my office. Perhaps I was born to be a tall poppy. What about you?
The solution for getting over the fear of criticism from getting bigger is to come from a place of Compassion and Purpose. Compassion because I believe that deep down, people dont mean to be malicious, its just their own stuff that comes up, feelings of inadequacy or jealousy, that they havent arrived yet.
Their personal issues are not your problem, so ignore them, with compassion, especially if youve been there too at one point. And Purpose because, when you stay focused on the purpose for your business (helping OTHERS), then anything else becomes secondary, even if it hurts sometimes. Focus on your leadership and power as being something that SERVES others, not hurts others and youll shine and then give others permission to shine.
In a battle between Fear of Criticism and Helping Others, courage will take you through the fear and into doing the right thing, despite what snippy people will say. The bottom line is, the yummy people will stay and thats all that matters: Those Who Mind Dont Matter and Those Who Matter Dont Mind. Dr. Seuss.
Your Assignment:
Have you been holding yourself back in marketing because of fear of growing too big and being criticized? Youve heard me say this a thousand times: Its your DUTY to get out there and market your services in a big way because its your DUTY to help others. Your fear of criticism is simply your ego wanting to protect itself from the unknown, wanting you to stay small and stay safe. Fact is, it doesnt serve you or anyone else to stay small.
Look at fear in the face and start thinking about the worst-case-scenario. Whats the worst that can happen if you get criticized a little? Would you die? Probably not. Would you survive? Probably yes. THEN, look at all the upsides to moving through your fear of growing your business bigger. List all the wonderful things that would come from it and live from THAT place. Remember, Successful People feel the fear, and they do it anyway. And now its your turn (and mine). :)
If youre not sure what you need to do to get out there in a BIGGER way with your marketing, in the first place, then its time to take action and invest in a step-by-step marketing system that will feel easy and authentic to you.
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Getting Out There in a Bigger Way Means Overcoming your Fear of Criticism